Although we claim the opposite, we humans belong to the animal world. Despite thousands of years of evolution, our instinct for survival and reaction to danger has not changed. Stress in primates was a natural way of self-preservation. What happened when one of our ancestors came across a tiger, for example? The instinct "Fight or flight!" was activated. The human body switches to speed and combat mode. Under the influence of stress in the body there are many biochemical changes - the release of hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, sugar secretion, acceleration of heart rate and blood flow, rapid breathing, muscle tension, the liver increases the body's energy, the blood clots faster so that it is ready to repair any damage to the bloodstream vessels, etc.
Today we are unlikely to encounter a tiger on the street, but we continue to feel and behave as if we are being chased by wild animals. The world seems to be going crazy, everything is happening too fast, we live in uncertainty and unpredictability, challenges are changing and we're constantly under pressure to keep up. We want a lot of things, but we are also required to do more and go faster. Today, the physical dangers are much less, but they are replaced by countless other stressors. Our body does not care about the type of threats, it responds instinctively to stress as it always has - "Fight or flight!".
Stress and distress
Stress cannot be completely avoided, it is our life and we cannot exist outside this state. A stressful situation can mobilize, excite and challenge us to show our best. Stress activates us, energizes us for change, and makes us more focused, more adequate, more alert, and more effective. This is a useful side, but there is also a harmful one, from which one-third of humanity suffers. Stress is not a disease, but it is a condition that can have serious consequences. What hurts is the excessive, chronic level of stress called "distress," which prevents us from complete, blocks our immune system, shortens our lives, and impairs our overall physical and mental health and well-being.
Stress is a state of tension that occurs under strong influences. It is a reaction to changes in its usual environment, to any requirement for adaptation or reconstruction. We experience stress every time we are faced with an event or situation that we perceive as challenging or exceeding our ability to cope. As a result of the feeling of stress, two types of effects occur which are difficult to cure - immediate and long-lasting. The first manifests itself in the form of increasing anxiety, increased emotions, and changes in the body that prepare it for change. Our body finds a way to cope with stress, but there is a limit to its resources and energy. If the situation is not controlled, if fear, nervousness, anxiety, and depression develop over time, we observe the lasting, negative effects of stress along with the corresponding problems in the overall behavior, communication, and social interaction abilities, which further strengthen it. In other words, stress causes new stress.
Stress is not what happens to us, but what we think is happening.
Believe it or not, most of the stress we experience we create on our own. "There is no stress in the world, only people with stressful thoughts," writer Wayne Dyer states. The world is an infinite variety, but because of the limitations of our senses, we perceive only a small part of that diversity. And this part that we perceive is filtered by the accumulated experience, culture, language, beliefs, values, feelings, dominant type of reasoning, and assumptions. Thus, everyone lives in their own, unique model of the world or "mind map", as NLP experts define it. People are convinced that their mind map is the actual reality, when in fact it is just an interpretation, an inner idea of reality, influenced by the peculiarities of their consciousness.
Stress is a process consisting of two elements. First, there is something on the "outside" - a situation or event that challenges and engages us, and then we have our "inner world" reacting to the outside" in a way that makes us feel stressed. That is, we enable these external events to strain us, through the way we perceive, feel, and think about them.
One of the easiest ways to understand and manage stress is the "A-B-C" model introduced by the American psychologist and leading psychotherapist Albert Ellis. The three components: A - the stressful event, the stressing factor; B - our "mind map", attitudes, beliefs, thoughts regarding this factor or event; C - effects of stress on our health, psyche, and behavior. Yes, we have three options to manage stress:
- Changing A. This means to change the conditions in our environment that lead to events and situations that cause stress. To some extent, it is possible by developing our resources and coping skills. But it is not possible to stop the change and the course of events, no matter how much we resist or isolate ourselves. It's not up to us. Unfortunately, most people choose this strategy and sink even deeper.
- Changing B. This means changing the way we perceive and think about the stressful event (A). We cannot control everything that happens to us, but we can control our reactions. To achieve this, we need to be able to control our thinking, to be more broad-minded, more flexible, and more open toward our "mind map". What is real in our thoughts is the present, but we do not live in it because we perceive everything through memories of the past and worries, and about the future. We must learn to accept realities, not to condemn them or pretend they do not exist. Perhaps it will be useful if we take note of the following wisdom: "Lord, help us accept things we cannot change; give us the strength to change the things we can and the wisdom to make the difference! ” If we want to understand this turbulent world, we must "change our point of view" and learn to look at things differently. Or, as Albert Ellis puts it: "We often outgrow what we thought we couldn't live without. And we fall in love with what we didn't realize we wanted. "
- Changing C. Even if we can't change the situation (A) and the way we think about it (B), we can use holistic approaches to prevent stress. We are talking about the formation of resistance forces in the body and psyche, self-control, liberation from negative thinking patterns, control over moods and emotions, development of emotional intelligence, work-life balance, more sports and movement, recreation in nature, proper breathing, proper nutrition, proper recovery and sleep, more enjoyable activities, spending more time with our loved ones, eliminating bad habits and addictions.
Have you ever felt like a character in a movie, like you are not in control of your fate, and rather part of an external script? You want to change your reality, but it's already in the past. You want to manage future events, but you don't because you don't have the script and your focus is on the current frame. Maybe you should give up this role, get out of the movie, look around, gather your thoughts, ask yourself who you are, and what you want. And this is very reminiscent of what the Polish writer Stanislaw Letz said 60 years ago: “Stop the world! I want to get off!
